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Halley's Comet

 

 When I was quite small, I read about comets in a children’s encyclopedia. My heart stopped, and then pounded. How can the world be prosaic, in a universe where comets tear without much warning (or stranger still, with clock-like reliability) out of the deep and innocent sky? There was a photo of Halley's comet, pale hair stretched across the stars. It was pure beauty. 
           Hairy stars! Tresses of light, blown by the Sun's bright wind! Mad portents, death and ruin of kings (but today most of us democrats have no kings, thank God, or, some of us, gods either, ditto), oracles written on the black sky in scratchings of brightness, fogs fleeing from the icy ends of the solar system to the warmth of our inner star, dirty iceballs of chemical smut and smog (and--who knows? certainly not that kid stuck back there in the fifties--alien DNA, genes, disease, life from space!) locked up in a hazy, lovely wisp of lace: kometes, yes, the comet! guest star from the boundaries of night, jog‑plodding out there beyond Neptune and Pluto at a measly kilometre a second, then racing like a mad hatless 19th century schoolgirl with her hair all tossed and freed in the hot summer wind to round the sky and hide behind the Sun and dash past the world as we craned back our heads, peering at--what! where is it? give me the binoculars, the damned thing's too dim...

            Well, Halley's comet was a blow‑out, I regret to say, in April, 1986, its nearest approach to Earth orbit. A bust, a non‑event. Well, almost... Parents perched their kids on tired shoulders, pointing without much conviction at the dull patch. Pretty feeble, the faintest apparition in the last two thousand years of triumphant Halley returns to the inner solar system stage.

            How angry I would have been, three decades earlier in the mid-fifties (Halley having hit aphelion--farthest point from the sun--four years after my birth, yes, the year Orwell was getting down his dreadful vision of our future era). Thirty-five times farther again out than Earth, and it takes zippy light eight minutes to reach our neighbourly orbit. How angry I'd have been to know how faint and difficult the rotten thing was to be in that year of grace and light, 1986, when I turned 42.

            I was waiting patiently all that time, you see, a faithful devotee of galaxies and comets. Child's heart pounding (this was years before sex, but still...) I gazed besotted at the glowing portrait of M31 in Andromeda, that wondrous whirlpool of a hundred billion great hot stars they called a Nebula, then, in that old borrowed encyclopaedia volume. The scientists, the dreadful Darwinists and Doubters, hadn't yet tumbled, in the world of that volume (that lost past of my grandparents' generation), to the horrid immensity of the cosmos. They took our Milky Way galaxy for the only one in town, they thought the furry nebulae were blotches and foams of gas at the edge of the fairground.

            Now we know better, of course. This little cosmos spread around our heads is the merest grain of sand in a shoreline, an ocean of specks, still blasting into a spacetime of its own making like the residue of a nuclear fireball from the Big Bang origin somewhere back there 15 or 20 thousand million years past. But when I was a kid, not all that long ago really in cosmological or even historic terms, the available paperwork was woefully out of date. The Gitas. The Holy Bible. The Qur'an. The Book of Mormon, for that matter. You wouldn't want to jump‑start a universe based on documentation like that.

            Still, we're grateful for what we can get. For hours, in the mid-1950s, I pressed my face to the glossy illustration pages in the Arthur Mees encyclopaedia, the photographs from Mount Wilson with its fabulous (pre-metric measurements) 100‑inch telescope, all those heart‑stirring records from just the other day, 1910, when Halley's comet sent its fifty million kilometre tail like a new Milky Way band of luminous gauze across half the sky.

            It was coming back! That was the great thing. In 1985 or 1986, in the impossible future, a future of adulthood (when you could buy all the icecreams and lollies and jam biscuits you wished, and eat them one after another, and no‑one could tell you to stop!), Halley would return on its elastic string of gravity, loop back like a cosmic yo‑yo, picking up speed and falling for the Sun, into the light, into the terrible heat and wind from the Sun (though they didn't know about the wind then) (Wind! from the Sun?!), and its dark insignificant cometary nucleus would hiss and steam and breathe out light, light and bright dust, and the sky would open again in its once‑every‑76‑years apocalypse and apparition, like a contract written by God attesting the Natural Human Span.

            That was the great thing, but I had not realised how dim the damned thing was going to be at this end of the century, or how much rubbish we'd have thrown up into the sky--street‑light rubbish, flashing neon sign rubbish, let alone the micro‑muck spattered through the air we try to work our cigarette‑damaged lungs with.

            The great thing, by contrast, about being Ancient Man (3000 B.C., say), was that you had (a) no television, theatre or movies to distract you at night, (b) no good restaurants to go out to, and (c) no electric lights, a drawback by some standards but okay at the time, due to a lack of (d) any amusing reading matter, but then (e), don't forget, no reliable contraceptives, and on top of all that you probably had (f) plenty of flocks to watch all night. How you actually kept an eye on your flocks with no electric power is anyone's guess.

            There must have been a wonderful sameness about it, for all that, rolled in your cloak, the fire fallen into embers, gazing up at the endlessly turning sky choked with stars too dim for our city‑stunned eyes to capture. (Wilfred Thesiger, that mad Briton who went among the wild desert men of Arabia Deserta early in our century, met youths with sight so piercing they could make out the circling moons of Jupiter, unknown to urban folk until the invention of the telescope.)

            And if the uninterpreted heavens tell a single story, that tale is Stability and Order. Now we know the sky is a shrieking chaos of exploding quasars and flickering giant suns, imploding black holes and moon‑cracking asteroids. Then, though, all was peace, and the planets wandered to and fro on their crystalline spheres, attended by the orbiting sun and moon, speaking from eternity and earliest human history a corrupting, soothing fable of Kingly Ordination:

 

The heavens themselves, the planets, and this centre

Observe degree, priority and place,

Insisture, course, proportion, season, form,

Office and custom,

 

reported William Shakespeare, from a limb of revolution in history and astronomy.

            But at spastic intervals the calm clockwork of the night ruptured without warning, and surely nothing could more easily set you screaming in panic.

            A new star! Nova! (In fact, an old star blowing its top, as five billion years ago a nearby big fat blue star went off the deep end and sent a shock wave through a mess of cosmic dust and rubble, compressing it in pulses of radiation, causing it to clump and fall together into cold lumps that warmed themselves, and so started our Sun and ourselves...)

            If a star might erupt, burning for days or weeks like a god's eye, and other stars tumble routinely to flare and streak (the meteors and their metallic residues the meteorites, accepted by shepherds but mocked until the end of the 18th century by savants who found them an affront to `form, office and custom'), what might we make of comets, smashing like mad golf balls through the stained‑glass windows of the manse, through the crystal spheres of church and state in the ordained macrocosm above our corruptible, sublunary heads?

            Why, this was Revolution! Unthinkable! Omens and portents, yes, and foul vapours, and pestilence from a broken promise of utter peace in the skies above the clouds!

            Chinese astrologers suspected dragons, and recorded the comets faithfully from the second millennium BC. Two of them, drunk as skunks, missed an eclipse and lost their heads to imperial wrath, smartening up the rest of their guild. Halley itself is recorded on almost every fly‑by at least back to 87 BC, and records of bright comets in 240 and 467 BC look familiar. But it wasn't until Edmond Halley nudged his chum Newton at the end of the 17th century for a clue to Universal Gravitation that these historical annotations (some of them, anyway) fell beautifully into an elliptical graph tracking the comet of 1682 backward and forward through time and space. `I would venture confidently to predict its return,' quoth Halley in 1705, `namely in the year 1758.'

            Legerdemain! A new order of regularity in the heavens, a fresh system, as lovely, as elegant, as unexpected as finding that the dinosaurs were wiped out to the last man when the nucleus of an exhausted comet smote the Earth in the year 65,000,000 BC (roughly), an instant‑winter effect we very nearly replicated, and maybe came within a hair of doing so, before the Evil Empire corroded through, had we decided to `fight' a nuclear `war'.

            Revolution? Why, yes. Where did you suppose the word came from? Copernicus had given everyone a nasty turn with his revelation of Revolutions of the Heavenly Bodies, and the Renaissance took up his insight as a metaphor, the collapse of old before the thrust of new, the power of the stars (of course) impelling the rise of the brash and the strong. Halley's, however, is a Counter‑Revolutionary, for the fool thing swings in a reverse sense about the Sun, counter‑clockwise, heading left as we swing right, so people in high places need have no fear. Maybe. For there are other comets (of course).

            Certainly Halley's owned a rich, peculiar stink of mystery: trapped in gold and thread by Giotto and the Bayeux weavers, ripe with spores of universal life, if astronomers Hoyle and Wickramasinghe are right, and not just life but disease and genetic benefice, gifts of Magi and Wicked Witch in silvery wrapping. There's more. Consider American gothic novelist John Calvin Batchelor's troubling assessment of that singular moment of the hairy comet:

            `Man's hunger, working in conjunction with his bizarre yen for profit, had moved him from a fire in a cave on an antediluvian river shore eight millennia before the birth of the Saviour, to a fire on a volcanic plain on the moon two millennia after... The instant in time that Homo sapiens touched lunar soil, Earthman became Spaceman, from which there is no turning back. Good riddance to all that. Hello to high, wide, and hairy.'

            Yes, hello to Hairy Stars! As the space probe Giotto plowed on March 14, 1986, through the fourteen kilometre coma, the glowing head of Halley's, watched by the Russian Vega craft and a Japanese mission, as it sent back its mysterious portraits, we too entered one step further into our estate. Masters of the Universe! Spectators, at the very least. At best: its reworkers, its next designers, the tenants who took over the cosmos and did it up to their own tastes.

            Nuclear winter? Global starvation? Resource depletion and entropy, a world laid waste in the fecundity of its own most successful animal? Hell, no. Hairy stars! Nebulae! Here's my advice: go with that kid I once was, dreaming, in abstract love, into the encyclopaedia, as sweet a symbol as I know for the burgeoning storehouse of human knowledge. And what we learn will change what we know, drastically, convulsively, in ways we-- well, in ways we cannot yet know. But we can make educated guesses. Sometimes--like the smudgy thing I waited for during thirty years of devotion--our dreams will prove wilder than the reality. It's the risk we run, we dreamers. But more often than not, we see past the veil into a place (all right, call it the future) where the prosaic and the workaday dare not step. Until relentless time pushes them through, and they sprawl without preparation, bruised and confused and angry. Hairy stars! Why didn't anyone warn us?

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